My wife asked me one time, “Why don’t you write about more blogs about marriage?” I shocked myself with my answer. “I guess I don’t think I am all that good at it.” Now when I say that, I don’t mean in terms of comparisons to others. I don’t sit around and wish I looked like this guy, or made money like that guy, or was patient and caring like another guy.
What I am mean is, the people who we are the closest to, get to
see the worst and the best of us. There are hundreds of insensitive and hurtful things I have said to my wife that I would never want anyone else to hear. I have selfishly dominated the conversation so she hears what I have to say when I know she wants to share something. There is always a conversation I could have handled better. There is always a conflict that I could have addressed in a different way. Maybe when she wanted to talk about a major life decision in the second quarter of the football game, I could have engaged the topic better because at least it wasn’t the fourth quarter.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Ephesians 5:25-31 NIV).”
When Paul addresses us husbands in this way we should be jarred a little. A husband is to act like Christ and be willing to even die for her. I must care for her and do everything I can in her spiritual walk to make her better, and do everything I can in this earthly life to provide for her physical needs (I realize I am only talking about my part, and her part is equally daunting).
Who can do that? Surely the Bible is outdated. It can’t be for today. Women needed that then because they couldn’t stand on their own in society. Modern Feminist cry out, “I DON’T NEED THE COMMITTMENT OF A MAN!” What if I told you, Paul was addressing believers in Ephesus who housed the largest and most radical Feminist Cult of the First Century World.
Worship of the goddess Artemis dominated the Coastal City of Ephesus. The priestesses were to sexually dominate men at the temple and this was to spill over into society. Women were to be in charge. This cult survived due to the many travelers who passed by, men’s fascination with sex and women wanting to have more power. It had roots in an earlier form of the goddess in Roman Mythology. It provided meaning and structure to there lives. Most of all if met the felt need of women who felt oppressed and lesser than men in first century society.
Paul’s solution was to empower both men and women through the love and commitment that is found in marriage. Marriage is to reflect the relationship of Christ and His bride the church. Men are to be Christ like and spiritual transformers of the home. Men and women both were not to be using their sexuality or their gender for any gain. They were to reside in a complete life long commitment that reflects the eternal commitment of Jesus to us!
So back to the original question: “Why don’t you write more blogs about marriage?” In light of what is asked of me as a Christian husband, “I guess I don’t think I am all that good at it.”
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